By: Nene Kabutey Dosoo
When I was a child, my dad counselled me on some qualities a good wife should have.
Because we lived in a village somewhere in Oda in the Eastern region, my father, who was also a church elder, used the life of a village girl, to describe how an ideal wife material ought to be.
As I became older, I noticed the wise counsel of my father to be true.
His first advise was to look out for a GOOD COOK.
“Kojo, a wife to-be must cook like your mother,” my father told me. “You’ll grow and your generation will change, apart from preparing traditional meals, she must also be good at preparing exotic meals as well,” he added.
Daddy further said a good wife material should not only be a church goer but play a role in the church. She can either be a choir leader or youth leader. Like my mum who was once the women’s fellowship leader, a wife material should love God and his work. The pastor must know her, she should always take the front row, her church dress should be below her knee, she ought to give offering and tithe and should not be a party animal.
If she drinks and sleeps at a drinking spot, then she’s not the one. She should just like [good] movies, stay home sleeping or reading a [good] book. The night club should be a strange place for her. Girls who say we’re just friends should not be trusted.
She needs to demonstrate her skills at keeping the home once a while in the relationship. She should wash my clothes once a while, clean my house, change the curtains and do all the “donkey job” in my house.
ABILITY TO ADAPT TO POVERTY
My father mined diamonds for a living, he believed no condition was permanent and therefore advised that a wife material should be able to stay with a broke man.
All wife materials tolerate broke boyfriends. They don’t care that their men can’t afford to buy them expensive gifts or take them out for weekend rendezvous. Some even give their boyfriends money, feed them and believe that all will be well in the future. They support their dreams and help them succeed later in life.
The girls who reject broke men keep jumping from one ‘sponsor’ to another like the late Ebony Reigns said in her song.
The most important thing that caught my attention in all the points above was that a wife material must be submissive. If there is any trait common among any wife material, then it is her submissiveness. She should follow orders, rules and regulations laid down by her man without any misunderstanding and should never be caught arguing with her man.
A wife material must remain loyal and faithful to her man even if they find themselves in different locations at any point in time. She needs to take good care of herself without cheating. Her man will love her forever.
PRUDENT WITH MONEY
My father’s last advise to me was to look out for a woman who is wise with money. She needs to use every coin carefully. She must be thrift with my money. She shouldn’t be buying expensive apparel, wigs and Brazilian hair boasting that “my man has money”.
She should desire to pursue money making ventures and invest to double our earnings. She should be able to live at peace with her in-laws by respecting and loving them unconditionally.
Thank you dad for your wise counsel.
By: Nene Kabutey Dosoo