Nigerian singer and Grammy winner Tems has given fans a glimpse into what she considers major red flags when it comes to dating, offering a rare look into her personal preferences and emotional boundaries.
Speaking during a recent interview, the “Me & U” star shared that her biggest red flag is a man who makes no effort to truly know her. Tems said she instantly pulls back from anyone who isn’t curious about who she is beyond the surface. According to her, if a man cannot try to be her friend, understand her world, or show genuine interest in her as a person, that’s an immediate deal breaker.
Tems explained that romantic relationships mean nothing without emotional presence, and a man who doesn’t ask questions, doesn’t try to connect deeply, or shows no desire to build genuine friendship gives her the “ick.” She made it clear that curiosity, effort, and intentional communication are essential for her.
The singer added that she values men who want to understand her mind, not just her music or her image, and she avoids anyone who expects closeness without putting in the effort to build it.
Her candid admission has sparked rich conversations online, with many fans agreeing that being with someone who doesn’t try to know you is one of the biggest dating red flags

